What I'm feeling

I've been feeling kinda down lately...my relationship with my boyfriend is getting harder and harder...I don't know how to deal with all those risks throwing right at me...I don't know how to avoid it...I just think that he doesn't understand me good enough...No one does..He's always icy cold and I don't know what to do about it..and my best friend is now my "friend". She hates me a lot...I don't know what to do about it...my feel as if my life is now thrown in a deep hole and couldn't find a way to get out from that scary hole..and I have to go to my ex-boyfriend to ask him for advice because he knows my current boyfriend best...they're best friends..I just don't wanna repeat that same mistake I did before...It hurts...I've been crying for so long because of this shit..I just don't know what to do now...Even though my sis is trying to help but she really isn't helping that much..and now she's putting hairpins and clips all over my hair because she's afraid to go downstairs to apologize to my dad..She's getting annoying now!! psshhttt...I wanna be a different person now...I want my boyfriend to be happy but I don't know how or even what to do!! It's like we don't understand each other at all...I'm depressed about this and I want to change this emo-ness to happiness.